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2019 DATING AND LOVE HOROSCOPES

2019 DATING AND LOVE HOROSCOPES

Aries 

Think of 2019 as a rebuilding year. Focus on your career, hobbies, and platonic friends, because there isn’t much to look forward to romantically. The reason for this isn’t a lack of potential mates, it’s your less desirable personality traits. Look in the mirror and reflect on past relationships, your listening skills need work and you aren’t always right. You can either jump into another destined to fail relationship, or spend some time getting yourself right.

Do you Aries!

Taurus 

At this point in your life, it’s a wonder you haven’t given up on love altogether. But hey, you’re a stubborn Taurus! This year will serve as yet another reminder that doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

Gemini 

What’s in store for “the twins”? First off, professional help. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a real thing, and anyone who refers to themselves as more than one person may have a diagnosable mental condition. This is the reason for your impressive resume of failed relationships, your partners don’t know how to cope with a two faced companion. Get the help you need in 2019 so your love life can prosper in 2020.

Cancer 

Not trying to be punny or anything, but you are the cancerous common denominator in your problematic love life. The manipulative tactics aren’t working because you keep getting caught in your own bullshit. Since we both know you aren’t going to change, study intelligence agencies. They’re clandestine professionals. The official CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception is a good place to start. Also, keep an eye out for crabs.

Leo 

Oh Leo, maybe next year will be your year. As it stands, The Astrological Crystal Ball® sees you leading yet another attempted pair bond straight to slaughter. I’d suggest taking a backseat to reevaluate your leadership qualities. Ask yourself frankly if you’re actually worth following.

Virgo 

Similar to 2018, and every year before that, no one will live up to your unrealistic expectations. It’s a problem of self delusion. If you applied the same rubric of expectation on yourself as you do on potential mates, you’d have settled down with a compatible partner a long time ago. But since you only date out of your league, you’re constantly exposed as an undeserving fraud. It’s okay Virgo, the universe offers unlimited opportunities to learn the same lesson.

Libra 

Your indecisiveness won’t be an issue in 2019, because you’ll have almost nothing to choose from at all. There were plenty of fish in the sea, but commercial fishing has endangered the dating pool. Keep curating your Instagram page so your life appears better than it is. That way, at least 2019 will quench your thirst for the superficial.

Scorpio 

If you are already in a relationship, remain hypervigilant. It’s much easier for them to get away with cheating than you’d expect.

If you’re single, this year will be full of fiery passion! As once again, you’ll quickly become clingy, possessive, and all that other fun Scorpio stuff. When shit hits the fan, as it inevitably will, try to at least retain some dignity by not becoming a destructive stalker.

Sagittarius 

You know that wonderful feeling of instant chemistry and attraction? The honeymoon feeling that accompanies the first parts of courtship? Well that is what’s in store for you in 2019! Your new partner will fall in love with your confidence, only to later realize it was actually overconfidence bordering on delusional cockiness. Oh well, some fireworks are only bottle rockets.

Capricorn 

Adversity makes us stronger, and God only tests the ones he loves. If Capricorn Dating in 2019 were a door, it would read “abandon all hope ye who enter here”. If you decide to entertain romance, make sure you have a 50 gallon drum of forgiveness at the ready.

Aquarius

Instant attraction will be the name of 2019, as you will meet a steady slew of potential partners who are googly eyed for you from the moment you meet. Unfortunately, first impressions can’t hide your being undateable. Despite a surplus of chemistry, not having your life together professionally or financially will cost you what could have been a great year of dating.

Pisces

You will meet someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. As the courtship begins, this feeling only grows stronger day by day. While you tell your friends and family that everything is unicorns and rainbows, you’ll be blindsided by the realization they don’t feel the same. In the end, your over sensitivity and pessimistic general outlook is what drives them away.

2019 Love and Dating Horoscopes

Live it Badass

 

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