THE 2019 MODEL MADNESS CHAMPIONSHIP
THE LOUISIANA GODDESS VS AMERICA’S DAUGHTER
The field stood strong at 65, and chaos ensued. Battle after battle, badass models persevered a war of attrition. Many have fallen, two remain. Who will reign supreme in the inaugural Live it Badass Model Madness competition?
The match up is in stone, and the date is set. April 4th 2019. Voting takes place at Facebook.com/liveitbadass and Instagram.com/Liveitbadass. Don’t miss this historic event, show up and cast your vote for your favorite badass!
Amber spoke her first words on the day she was born. She said “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America”.
As a child, her parents read her The Constitution as a bedtime story, and to this day she remains a staunch American patriot and defender of our constitutional rights.
Amber played with toy guns as a little girl, and was known to wear red white and blue war paint when engaged in battle with neighborhood children. As an adult, she prefers a tattoo to simple paint, and an actual rifle to a child’s novelty item. There’s nothing quite like the smell of gunpowder while putting rounds down range, especially to an American badass like Amber Dee.
They say Apple Pie is as American as Amber Dee, and baseball’s favorite pastime is scrolling through her Instagram feed.
Most people simply move out of their parents house, whereas Amber Dee made a Declaration of Independence.
She’s been described as a statuesque representation of freedom, drawing direct comparison to a living embodiment of the Statue of Liberty.
Her eyes are blue because they couldn’t stand being a color not on the American flag.
Katharine Lee Bates, the writer of “America the Beautiful”, is rumored to have written the song following an intense vision about a beautiful patriot from a time in the future. The song’s opening line is “O beautiful for spacious skies, for AMBER waves of grain”. Coincidence? I think not.
When all is said and done, one thing will be certain. America has a daughter, and her name is Amber Dee.
The Louisiana Goddess
Most fishermen have a story about the one that got away, an unruly beast who took the bait but would not be reeled in. Jaclynn Crooks is different. As a zen samurai of fishing, she’s so at peace with the water that she’s one with the fish themselves. If she chose to do so, she could use her mind to direct all of the fish in a given body of water to her boat using will alone. This may sound like a tall tale, but I assure you it is not. Let me explain.
You see, Jaclynn Crooks is a primordial being.
Once, while particularly thirsty, she drank all of the water from the fountain of youth. She transcends the very idea of time.
The answer to the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, is Jaclynn Crooks.
SHE ONCE CLIMBED A TREE, AND THEN THREW AN APPLE AT THE LAZY BOY SLEEPING BENEATH IT. HIS NAME WAS JOHNNY APPLESEED.
JACLYNN CROOKS FORGED AND SHARPENED A KNIFE, AND THEN GIFTED IT AFTER TEACHING A MAN TO WIELD IT. HE WENT BY THE NAME OF JIM BOWIE AND LATER USED THAT KNIFE TO KILL THE SHERIFF OF RAPIDES PARISH.
JACLYNN ONCE LEAD A HIKE ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE CUMBERLAND GAP. THE NAME OF THE MAN SHE LEAD WAS DANIEL BOONE.
SHE INTRODUCED MIKE FINK TO ONE OF HER FAVORITE FISHING HOLES, A PLACE NOW REFERRED TO AS THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER.
In other words, Jaclynn Crooks is a true badass.
Check out the Louisiana Goddess and America’s Daughter on Instagram
Mark your calendar for April 4th, 2019, and visit