We live in a constant state of over stimulation, working long hours and busting our American asses. There’s no way around it, so we find ways to wind down on our days off. Meditation is a great way to release stress, increase focus, and simply relax.
Transcendental Meditation, Zen Meditation, and mindfulness practices are in vogue, but there’s an ancient technique that may be the best of the bunch. It’s called ‘Helicopter Hypnosis Meditation’.
The technique involves standing completely nude, while rotating the pelvis in a rhythmic, circular motion. While the genitalia spins, the meditator is instructed to keep his eyes on the prize. Watching this spinning motion hypnotizes most practitioners within 4 minutes, and some spin for upwards of four hours at a time. Like fidget spinning for adults.
The idea is similar to other forms of meditation. Take your focus, and consciously move all of it to an object of concentration. Some techniques use the breath, others a mantra or a candle. Some forms of meditation require strict posture, others a self loving approach to recognizing what is, in the moment. Helicopter Hypnosis Meditation replaces those with a swinging dick.
The technique was practiced thousands of years ago by a group of renegade monks, and was recently rediscovered in a strange book hidden on a Tibetan mountain. After confirming the authenticity of the relic, people from all over tried to decipher its contents. Over 90% of the book was dedicated exclusively to Helicopter Hypnosis Meditation, or as YMCAs across the country call it, spin class.
If you have an open mind, give it a try. It’s so simple you can do it anywhere. Just make sure you are by yourself, it’s embarrassing being walked in on while deep in a state of helicopter induced gnosis.