Dick Pic Extender App Lengthens Shaft, New Photoshop App for Men
ExtenderShop is the new thing in photo manipulation technology. The popular photo app allows “dick pics” to be lengthened and thickened. Extender’s key to success is its simplicity. Upload your junk, and then select how much you want the length and girth to be exaggerated. Put simply, it is a dick pic extender.
“From zero to hero.” says Rich Little, the application’s founder. Richard was born with a micropenis, and always dreamed of showcasing something more than a childlike genitalia. “After applying ExtenderShop, I made pornstars look like infants.” he says. “I had to share my happiness with the world.”
From zero to hero is right. Little was a lifelong underachiever, but finally hit the financial swing of things after launching ExtendorShop. With more than 35 million downloads, there is no denying Little’s success. The only complaints come from women, who find the whole thing to be a bit misleading.
“Random phallic photos are inherently awkward. Now they’re all Washington Monuments. I don’t know what to believe.” Says every girl this side of Tinder. When Richard Little set out, he did so with a simple goal in mind, self enhancement. He wanted girls to see how big he was on the inside.
But there’s always a downside, and experts say that we are in the midst of it in regards to the popular app. Long gone is the time when a woman could accurately determine a potential suitor’s size via grainy photo, in its place is a time of paranoia.
“It’s gotten to the point where every dick pic is considered enhanced, like baseball players after the Bonds era.” Little says. And it’s true. Beautiful specimen can no longer peacock through the medium of photography. Only time will tell if this new technology will have positive or negative effects on society.