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SNAKE OIL INCREASES PENIS SIZE!

Oil From Rare Snake Increases Penis Size Eduardo Silva is a snake and alligator trapper from Brazil, so he didn’t over think it when he caught a snake he hadn’t seen before. After inspecting its’ skin, Eduardo went to urinate. He woke the next morning to find that his flaccid size had increased noticeably through the night. “I wasn’t sure… Read More
Conspiracy Info New 

WHY THE UNITED STATES MILITARY WOULD DESTROY ALIEN INVADERS

WHY THE UNITED STATES MILITARY WOULD DESTROY ALIEN INVADERS If you think the New England Patriots are a modern dynasty, then what is the American military? A damn empire, that’s what. If you take into account the scale of the whole operation, it’s mind bending. From our intelligence agencies to the Navy to the Marines to the Air Force to… Read More
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ENJOY THE DECLINE

ENJOY THE DECLINE We are all one. -Anonymous hippie After careful analysis, an obvious conclusion arises. It’s all in the toilet, the only question is when will the flush occur? There are increasingly accurate feedback loops alerting us to specific dates, but no one knows the when. Only that there will be a purge. We’re post cognitive revolution. It’s kind… Read More
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THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS PRO WRASSLIN’

THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS PRO WRASSLIN’ The business model followed by professional wrestling is almost exactly analogous to the one employed by the mainstream media. Wrestling is fake, the media is fake, but they’re both real to me dammit! Entertainment is the name of the game, and the bottom line is dollar signs. Obviously. Follow the money, find the answer.… Read More
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SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS ARE BEYOND REASON

SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS ARE BEYOND REASON Facts don’t care about your feelings, but when you’re a self appointed warrior of social justice, your feelings can’t be bothered by minor inconveniences like facts or objective truths. All that matters is blissfully occupying your place in an echo chamber of delusion. This is why SJWs love a good march, protest, or rally.… Read More
Squirrel hunter Info New News 

MAN CELEBRATES ONE MILLIONTH SQUIRREL KILL

  Man Celebrates One Millionth Squirrel Kill Ernest Johnson The Third has been hunting squirrels his entire life. Squirrel season takes place between August 15th and January 31st, allowing hunters to kill a maximum of twelve squirrels per day. This means you can kill roughly 2000 squirrels per season, making Earnests’ claim sound far fetched. How could one man kill… Read More
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AUTOCORRECT IS A VIOLATION OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT

AUTOCORRECT IS A VIOLATION OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT Free speech is under assault, and autocorrect is the analytically artificially intelligent undertaker dragging us all toward the grave. It was fun as a calculator for spelling, when it alerted me of miscalculations of basic grammar. Now it’s gone too far. English is a fantastic human language, but autocorrect is perverting it.… Read More
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FLORIDA MAN ENGAGED TO MARRY HIS FLESHLIGHT

FLORIDA MAN ENGAGED TO MARRY HIS FLESHLIGHT Michael Dumphrey, 35, of Saint Augustine Florida is engaged to marry his Fleshlight. For those unfamiliar with the product, it’s a black tube that houses an artificial vagina inside. It has sometimes been referred to as a ‘pocket pussy’. As far as Dumphrey is concerned, the product is everything he needs and more.… Read More