Formerly Undefeated P4P Boxing Champion Charlie Zelenoff Suffers First Knockout Loss
Anyone who follows boxing, and many who don’t, are aware of the great boxing master Charlie Zelenoff. For more than six years, Charlie Z took on all comers during a reign of terror that will hopefully never be replicated. The man was vicious, a pure savage. His win streak was unprecedented, and one of the sporting world’s greatest achievements.
The GOAT was the pound for pound best welterweight in the world, and boasts a 266-0 record on Twitter, a 224-0 record on Instagram, and an official pro record of 0-1 on BoxRec.com.
That all came crashing down last night, in the middle of an empty YMCA gymnasium. Charlie convinced a random stranger who was there to play basketball to do some 50% sparring, and then immediately went for the haymaker kill shot. His anonymous opponent must have been familiar with the tactic, and countered the looping overhand shot with a lead hook to the body, followed by a hard uppercut that made Zelenoff two inches taller and put him down. I never thought I’d hear someone say the words out loud, “Charlie Zelenoff knocked out.” He was down for the count.
Except there was no count, because there was no referee. Or fans. Or sanctioning body. Instead, Zelenoff’s enabling father rushed his fallen son, and gave him awkward mouth to mouth while his opponent rolled his eyes, assuming naturally that he was faking it. Charlie Z hit the hardwood floor so hard that he died immediately, like so many of his unsuspecting foes could have.
Oh yeah, not only did Zelenoff suffer his first ever loss. He died. Charlie Zelenoff is dead.
What can we learn from the life of this future first ballot hall of famer? Basketball courts are not the place for boxing, that’s what boxing gyms are for. Also, and no one exemplified this lesson more clearly than the controversial Zelenoff, don’t be a fucking asshole.