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CIA CONSIDERED PENIS ENVY WARFARE

CIA CONSIDERED PENIS ENVY WARFARE

In what may have been dubbed “Operation Washington Monument”, or perhaps “Magnum-K Ultra”, the CIA considered enacting the greatest prank in the history of intelligence operations. The plan was to airdrop a box of extra large condoms labeled “Medium” onto the soviets in order to “Demoralize them against an anatomically superior American Army”.

The obvious question is, why the hell didn’t we do that? It’s hilarious.

Not carrying out this grandiose act of spiritual and psychological warfare was a massive fail, but it also highlights the rampant psychopathy within the Central Intelligence Agency. This plan was at one point actually considered, which is a win in my book.

It’s the CIA, not everything can be rainbows and unicorns. Somebody’s gotta be out there practicing dark arts, and doing the necessary dirty work to figure out how to convince other men that our weiners are bigger than theirs are.

Intelligence isn’t for everyone, but there’s a warm feeling of protection that washes over you when you find out things like this. As an everyday citizen, I can’t be out there exaggerating the erect penis size of myself and my fellow countrymen. It isn’t practical. That’s what elite covert operation agencies like the CIA are for, to be out there doing God’s work.

CIA Penis Envy Warfare

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