Mermaid Ass | Live it Bad AssInfo New News 

MERMAID ASS? A SERIOUS DISCUSSION

Mermaid Ass? A Serious Discussion

 

Mermaid ass is on everyone’s mind, let’s talk about it.

 It’s a simple question, pondered by many throughout history. Is there such a thing as Mermaid ass? Let’s start with Mermaids themselves. They’re like Bigfoot if he was feminine, hairless, and had breasts. Their existence isn’t confirmed, but there have been plenty of sightings. Mermaids are half fish, half woman, and there isn’t male equivalent unless you count Derek Zoolander’s Aveda ad.

The origins of the Mermaid are hotly contested, but there are only a few serious theories.

One is that the Mermaid is an Annunaki genetic creation. This theory breaks down into two sub theories; Genetically Sound and Genetically Flawed. The former believe the Annunaki were able to create a hybrid that carried the top half physical characteristics of a human female, and the bottom half of a fish. This is the Mermaid of lore, a topless enchantress with a big floppy fish tail. The Genetically Flawed camp believes that Mermaids aren’t at all the beauties they’re portrayed as, but actually a horrifying experiment gone wrong. Fish heads with female torsos, scales all over a grotesque and deformed body with hands growing out of it, that sort of  delight.

An unrelated cult theory is that the Mermaid is not a Mermaid at all. She is simply a woman who enjoys swimming, and feels that conversations with men are more rewarding when the pressure of sex is removed. She dons a mermaid costume/swimming aid, and creates urban legends every time she swims up to converse. If this theory is true, Mermaid’s have asses. If the Genetically Sound theory is true, they don’t. And if the Genetically Flawed theory is true, Mermaid ass exists and should be avoided.

Sorry Live it Bad Ass Nation. It wasn’t the answer I wanted either.

 

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