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FIVE CITIES WITH MILLENNIAL INFESTATION

Five Cities With Millennial Infestation

Five cities with Millennial infestation problems

There is a short list of cities in the U.S. that I deliberately avoid. When a state legalizes recreational marijuana, it’s hubs are added for the risk of impaired drivers. Even supposing every marijuana user were responsible, I’d avoid them on a matter of principle. There are other ways a city can make the list; the presence of liberal arts colleges, areas described as trendy or hip, too many yoga studios, and Millennial infestation. The following are the five cities that top the list.

Austin Texas
This one almost pains me because of my love for the rest of Texas, but Austin is an absolute never for me. The University of Texas campus keeps it crawling with broke twenty somethings, and the slogan of “Keep Austin Weird” is reflective of its open hippie culture.

“What the Hell?” I asked. It was Friday night, and I was in Austin for business. Every bar was jam packed, bursting with the obnoxious energy of youth. Doormen called out like sirens to beggars, one dollar wells! I grabbed a six pack and headed back to the hotel to enjoy it alone, and vowed never to return.

Seattle Washington
The beautiful state of Washington has been infiltrated by startup entrepreneurs, the new aspiring musician. Walk up dispensaries line the streets, where anyone with identification can purchase state sponsored legal marijuana. It has culture in the way that any college town full of starving artists has culture, and the ratio of beards with dreadlocks to buzz cuts with mustaches is far too high for my liking.

Portland Oregon
Fortunate enough to have never been, but I am keenly aware of where I don’t belong. Two of my high school peers are transplants to the city. Respectable, honest humans whose vices happen to line up with those of the worst generation. Good people. That said, Portland’s average inhabitant is enough to turn me away.

Arcata California
Humboldt County is a caricature of Millennialism. There are literally bands of homeless community college students, and males with ponytails playing touch butt in the park. Humboldt is synonymous with marijuana subculture, and is known for outdoor cultivation of the plant. Really a shame, considering the land itself is beautiful, and bordered by Redwood trees.

Denver Colorado
The mile high city. Stoners really had a blast with that one when they legalized recreational Marijuana. Another otherwise beautiful location, full of mountains and once in a lifetime sights, soiled by a generation that considers taking out the trash manual labor. There is an odd blending of successful generation X’ers, boomers, and struggling Millennials here. Something outside of it being another recreational city rubs me the wrong way, and is the reason Denver rounds out my list of cities with Millennial infestation.

 

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