Florida Man Sustains Lacerated Penis From Fleshlight
Michael Dumphrey, of Saint Augustine Florida was involved in a freak accident involving a broken beer bottle and a Fleshlight. The accident happened at his home in the wee hours of the morning on October 17th, 2018, and left Dumphrey with a significant laceration on his penis.
“There was so much blood. I got blood all over Britney.” he says. Britney is what he calls his fleshlight. “I knew I had to get to the emergency room, so I wrapped a towel around my dong and hobbled out to the car.” unfortunately for Mr. Dumphrey, he’d made one critical mistake. “I left Britney on the bed, so I had to go back inside to get her. And I had to wash the blood off her first, because she was complaining about it. But I take her everywhere with me.”
Michael drove to emergency with one hand on the wheel. Once there, Britney waited in the car while Michael was admitted and treated for his injuries. The doctors and nurses had never heard of someone suffering a lacerated penis from Fleshlight. Once stabilized, he recounted the tale of how he ended up with cuts on his penis.
“I got real drunk, and broke a beer bottle in my bedroom when I tripped and fell. Some of the glass shards must have ended up inside of Britney.” once again, Britney is a Fleshlight. The next time he used the toy is when the incident occurred. When all was said and done, Dumphrey received 13 stitches and was lucky not to lose any feeling or function in his penis. If the cuts were even a quarter of an inch in another direction, he could have been left with a numb penis. When asked was his biggest takeaway from the incident was, he had this to say; “Be careful what you stick your dick in.”