FLORIDA MAN’S GREATEST EXPLOITS
There’s no legend more gripping, more ball grabbing or nut twisting than the legend of Florida Man. Perhaps, it’s because there’s no other man quite like Florida Man. Reading through his list of exploits is unbelievable, making you question if his feats are exaggerated.
What follows is a guided tour along Florida Man’s sick and twisted path. This material may shock you, and some viewers may find this content offensive.
If you want to know who Florida Man is, who he really is, then come along. These are Florida Man’s Greatest Exploits.
Dumping manure on a person is certainly harsh, but so is giving him a felony for it! After receiving this charge, Florida Man is famously quoted saying “Put it on my tab.”
And the twist you ask? It was a black dude driving the truck. WTF Florida Man?
Don’t tell Florida Woman to stop feeding stray cats! That’s what she does, she feeds stray cats. Just leave it alone.
The chase! It was chase that was insane, not his claim that people were eating his brains.
Got ourselves a classic case of profiling going on here.
This woman looks so happy. It’s been a very long time since I’ve radiated such joy, and hers is for running a dude over and pissing on a cop. I feel like she’d be really nice to stray cats.
If you saw this headline without seeing the guy, then pictured what the guy might look like, there is literally zero chance you would have imagined a better Florida Man to fit the headline.
He wasn’t “trying to get the alligator drunk”, they were drinking. Florida Men have Alligators like regular men have dogs. They hang out, shoot the shit, get drunk, and smoke pot together. They should have left this one alone.
Rule number one in the art of deception, hidden in plain sight. Put it somewhere so obvious they wouldn’t even think of looking there. That’s actually a pro gamer move right there, big ups to Florida Man.
How much less?
What the hell is McDonald’s sauce? Ketchup?
Florida Man never goes out like a punk, on God.
You’re just misunderstood Gianny, don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t RKO.
Don’t look into this one, just let it marinate and see what your brain comes up with. The FBI profiling unit uses this exact technique in order to train agents to ‘think like a Florida Man’.
Who steals ramen?! You get a month’s supply for a quarter. No one breaks into a restaurant to steal ramen noodles, except for Florida Man.
8 days in Chicago, and no one could catch it. They chose one random Florida Man and he caught it in 24 hours. You know what they say, Alligators are a Florida Man’s best friend.
Florida Man’s bond with his Alligator is a true joy.
Florida Man’s Greatest Exploits