FLORIDA MAN’S PENIS SUPER GLUED INSIDE A FLESHLIGHT

March 19, 2019March 29, 2019 GeronimoFleshlight, Florida Man, Super glue

Florida Man’s Penis Super Glued Inside a Fleshlight

Michael Dumphrey, 34, of Saint Augustine is currently recovering from surgery to remove a Fleshlight that was super glued to his penis. The unusual emergency room visit was the result of a vicious prank carried out by his then girlfriend Jackie Meadows.

“I thought it was lube. You gotta be careful what you stick your dick in.” he said when asked about the incident.

Since news of the story broke, he’s received countless requests for interviews and plenty of unwanted attention on social media.

Apparently, Meadows was furious after discovering the Fleshlight hidden in the bottom of his sock drawer. He refers to the drawer as his go to hiding place, and has no clue how she could have found it. Instead of confronting him about the discovery, she took matters into her own hands.

“She crazy though. I should have known.” he said. Meadows purchased super glue and concocted an ingenious plan. Instead of filling the adult toy with lubricant as suggested, she emptied an entire tube of super glue inside and suggested he let her watch.

Within a few quick thrusts, he knew he was in trouble. While trying unsuccessfully to remove the Fleshlight from his phallic region, Meadows laughed maniacally and took a video with her cellphone. The video was live streamed to Facebook, only to be removed shortly after. Unfortunately for Mr. Dumphrey, the damage was done.

Because he doesn’t have health insurance, Dumphrey started a Go Fund Me to cover the cost of removal instead of going straight to the emergency room. This allowed the glue to fully adhere, making it the only recorded case of a penis super glued inside a fleshlight. Following successful surgery, Dumphrey reflected on his biggest regret about the incident.

“I lost my wifey. I really loved her man, that was the worst part. I mean, I already ordered another one but I can’t just replace all the memories we made together.” Hopefully, this serves to teach other men two common sense lessons; One, everyone knows the bottom of your sock drawer is where you hide your shit. Two, be vigilant about where you insert your penis.

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