Yesterday marked the end of Kim Jong Un’s sugar induced coma. The story dominated national headlines, and shocked most of the world. No one could believe that someone with such a youthful, Hulking Adonis physique might be teetering on the edge of type II diabetes. Despite three days unconscious, the respected leader was all smiles upon waking. The nation celebrated the miracle, despite never having doubted that his excellency would pull through.
In fact, North Korean law dictates that it is illegal for heaven to remove Kim Jong Un without receiving prior written consent from the Long Cock himself.
“It’s incredible. This man is in perfect physical condition.” said the doctor in charge of the great one’s outpatient checkup.