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KIM JONG UN’S SHIT DON’T STANK, ACCORDING TO NORTH KOREAN SCIENTISTS WHO ANALYZE FECAL MATTER

Kim Jong Un’s Shit Don’t Stank, According to North Korean Scientists Who Analyze Fecal Matter

Choi Yie and his team of scientists were bestowed with the honor of testing the Shining Sun Star’s stool sample. This in itself was a great honor. Simply sharing a room with one of the Greatest one’s poop turds was a great honor for everyone involved. The scientists themselves had trouble remaining logical. One of them was unable to restrain his curiosity, and leaned in for a whiff of that famous brand.

What he actually smelled has since baffled the entire scientific community.

“Well? What does it smell like?” Yie asked, eager for eternal knowledge. The look on his colleague’s face was one of inner peace and deep knowing. “He said we are all one, and that the there self is an illusion. And then he fell to the floor, weeping uncontrollably.” The other scientists watched as tears rolled down his cheeks, unsure what to make of his reaction. “Tell us! We must know!” Yie shouted, too scared to sniff for himself.

The man raised his head slowly, looked into Yie’s eyes, and said “It don’t stink. That shit don’t stank.”

“What?” Yie asked, unsure he heard correctly.

“The Long Cock of North Korea has odorless shit!”

the man called out, before entering a psychosis he has yet to recover from. Follow up tests have confirmed that Kim Jong Un’s shit don’t stank, citing the phenomenon as the first of its kind. The fecal matter itself will be on display at the North Korean National History Museum, along with a small tube that allows visitors to whiff the odorless poo. There will be no follow ups for the scientist himself, who is considered a casualty of the Last Messiah himself. There is no sacrifice Kim Jong Un’s children won’t make for each other.

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