Millennial Midlife Crisis | Live it Bad AssInfo New 

MILLENNIAL MIDLIFE CRISIS

Millennial Midlife Crisis | Live it Bad Ass

Millennial Midlife Crisis

The oldest Millennials are now in their thirties, and still struggling with the process they refer to as ‘adulting’. They don’t have houses, as they live with their parents. And they don’t have children, because they are children.

Basement dwelling and couch surfing take their toll, as does life without employment. Millennials are anti social hippies who venerate the cell phone, and recoil at the thought of showing gumption. And now the existential reality of a life wasted is staring them dead in the eye, and they’re breaking down.

The typical midlife crisis involves realizing you’ve spent your life working, let your body go, and bypassed a lot of the fun stuff you wanted to do when you were 18 because you were working so damn hard. So you comb what’s left of your hair over the bald spot, and head down to the motorcycle dealership. The wife isn’t happy when she sees your new hog, but she understands. She herself has taken a young lover on the side. But she’s a good woman, she’ll never let you know a thing.

The Millennial midlife crisis is something different altogether. It involves waking up in your mom’s basement, and realizing that Tinder is absolutely not working for you, and you are also terrified of non cell phone based interaction.

That you need a job. It’s an anxiety inducing confrontation with the real world, the one Millennials avoid.

There are only so many barista positions, and what happens to a tiny home when struck by a major weather event? If ignorance is bliss, youth is short sighted. The coming decade will be full of midlife crises similar to the one I described and worse. The time for penance has come. The ultimate I told you so for parents across the nation who pleaded with their children not to “enter the Cannabis industry”, start micro breweries, or any other amateur hour startup company. The time has come for the Millennial midlife crisis.

Did you like this?
Tip Jeremiah Meyerson with Cryptocurrency

Donate Bitcoin to Jeremiah Meyerson

Scan to Donate Bitcoin to Jeremiah Meyerson
Scan the QR code or copy the address below into your wallet to send some bitcoin:

Donate Bitcoin Cash to Jeremiah Meyerson

Scan to Donate Bitcoin Cash to Jeremiah Meyerson
Scan the QR code or copy the address below into your wallet to send bitcoin:

Donate Ethereum to Jeremiah Meyerson

Scan to Donate Ethereum to Jeremiah Meyerson
Scan the QR code or copy the address below into your wallet to send some Ether:

Donate Litecoin to Jeremiah Meyerson

Scan to Donate Litecoin to Jeremiah Meyerson
Scan the QR code or copy the address below into your wallet to send some Litecoin:

Donate Monero to Jeremiah Meyerson

Scan to Donate Monero to Jeremiah Meyerson
Scan the QR code or copy the address below into your wallet to send some Monero:

Donate ZCash to Jeremiah Meyerson

Scan to Donate ZCash to Jeremiah Meyerson
Scan the QR code or copy the address below into your wallet to send some ZCash:
LEAVE A COMMENT

Related posts

Leave a Comment

%d bloggers like this: