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THE MILLENNIAL CAN’T EVEN SEND BACK THEIR FOOD WITHOUT A PEP TALK

The Millenial Can’t Even Send Back Their Food Without A Pep Talk

Millennials need a pep talk for everything, including something as simple as sending back their food.

There are times when I find the world we live in difficult to understand. Moneyish ran an article about how millennials have a hard time returning food at restaurants. Come on millennials!

There’s nothing to it. My food is undercooked and has three pubes in it, get it out of here. I don’t understand the problem.

Except I do. Millennials are fragile narcissists, and can’t stand being direct for fear of conflict. Being liked is programmed into them by social media. That’s the problem with being a special snowflake, you melt at the first sign of a little heat. Stop being so agreeable, it’s unbecoming. Male-innials struggle maintaining eye contact because of porn dependency, so it’s unlikely they’ll muster the fortitude to speak up. They might squeak if anything. That means it’s up to you ladies. Don’t let your sense of self be so wrapped up in your waiter’s perception of you that you can’t risk getting what you paid for.

It’s not that I disagree with the article, which is standard millennial coddling. A ten step process to return your meal, including all the pick me up validation your little heart desires. It lost some credibility with me personally when it mentioned running your complaint by a friend to see “whether or not they’re able to identify what you think might be a strand of hair”.

Oh for the love of God, if you can’t call a hair a hair, what sense can you possibly have?

Millennials love to use the word “adulting”, as if regular everyday things are somehow foreign to them. You shouldn’t need a lesson to mention to your waiter that your porkchop is bleeding, that level of social anxiety must be crippling. Maybe they really are that out of touch with adulthood.

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