Mystery Drug Makes Good Christian Man Fornicate With a Pony
If cocaine is a hell of a drug, then how do you describe the mystery drug that caused a good christian man to fornicate with a pony? That is the question on everyone’s mind following the arrest of 29 year old Tyler Schlosser.
Schlosser was picked up in Rogers County Oklahoma on charges of bestiality and indecent exposure after being filmed having intercourse with a miniature pony. The incident occurred while he was on the clock for a local utility company, and away from his wife.
The original story can be found here: Man Allegedly Caught Having Sex With a Pony May Have Been Drugged and Is ‘a Good Christian Boy’ Family Says
Schlosser claims no recollection of his regretful roll in the hay, and seems to be sticking with the classic ‘someone spiked my drink’ excuse. After giving new meaning to the phrase ‘I want a pony’, it’s hard to argue that ‘I blacked out, what happened?’ may be his best course of action given the circumstances.
Rarely does a 29 year old married man wake up and decide that today is the day he is going to fornicate with a pony for the first time. His step grandfather seems convinced the bizarre behavior stemmed from a tainted bottle of pop Schlosser had consumed earlier.
So what the hell was in that soda? It’s a serious question, one that Rogers County Sheriff Scott Walton intends to get to the bottom of. In the meantime, good christian men everywhere should watch out. Cola is terrible for you anyway, and isn’t worth consuming until we find out once and for all exactly which soda soluble narcotic is capable of transforming an otherwise sane and respectable man into a pony fucker.
Live it Badass will follow up with developments on the story.