NFL Draft | Live it Bad AssNew Sports 



  1. Cleveland Browns, Baker Mayfield, QB – The Browns take a “Don’t Draft” player with the number one overall pick, ensuring another bust at quarterback. An emotional little girl can’t be expected to lead a team of adult men. Grade: F

  2.  New York Giants, Shaquon Barkley, RB – The best talent in the draft lands on a team with no offensive line and a shit defense. The Giants’ remaining picks will determine his actual value. Grade: A –
  3.  New York Jets, Sam Darnold, QB – If your grandfather’s name is Dick Hammer, your future is bright. Even if success doesn’t come on the football field. Grade: B+
  4. Cleveland Browns, Denzel Ward, CB – The defense isn’t the Brown’s main problem, yet they still chose to bolster a position that didn’t play terrible last year. Scooping up local talent to boost ticket sales instead of doing what is best for your team is the Browns usual strategy. Grade: B
  5. Denver Broncos, Bradley Chubb, DE – The best pick of the first round. Chubb playing across Von Miller creates an edge similar to the one they had with Demarcus Ware. Grade: A+

  6. Indianapolis Colts, Quenton Nelson, G – A God fearing American who went to Notre Dame. Anyone with this much Patriotism is destined for greatness. Grade: A
  7. Buffalo Bills, Josh Allen, QB – Another “Don’t Draft” player comes off the board, and lands directly in the lap of the other Draft Doom franchise. Allen is said to have rare talent, and I agree. It’s a rare talent to scam your way into the top ten of an NFL Draft when you have no business there in the first place. Grade: D+
  8. Chicago Bears, Roquan Smith, LB – I had the pleasure of coaching Roquan at the pee wee level, and have always said that he will be an NFL star. Grade: A+
  9. San Francisco 49ers, Mike McGlinchey, OT – Another good christian American lineman comes off the board. Big, strong, and long. Same things you want your better half to say about you. Grade: A
  10. Arizona Cardinals, Josh Rosen, QB – The guy the Browns should have taken. The Cards pick up the most NFL ready quarterback in the draft, and he should develop fast.
  11. Miami Dolphins, Minkah Fitzpatrick, S – He’s a larger version of Tyrann Mathieu with better skills. The guy will be a stud in the league. Grade: A
  12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Vita Vea, DT – I haven’t seen a fat ass move like that since Shaquille O’Neal. It’s hard to say he won’t turn into a great defensive tackle, so I won’t. Grade: A+
  13. Washington Redskins, Da’Ron Payne, DT – He’ll be a slight help on an average team, yet the pick makes sense considering the Redskins defensive line is aging. Grade: C+
  14. New Orleans Saints, Marcus Davenport, DE – A successful defensive end from a non-BCS conference comes once a decade or so, and Myles Garrett got drafted last year. Another C-USA player will fail, mark my words. *High Bust Potential Grade: D-
  15. Las Vegas Raiders, Kolton Miller, OT – Hopefully this addition fortifies the offensive line, and buys Carr some time in the pocket. Grade: B-
  16. Buffalo Bills, Tremaine Edmunds, LB – The first of the brothers to get picked up. He was a legitimate stud when I saw him play at the pee wee level, but he’s only 19 years old and man’s strength is a real thing. Grade: B
  17. Los Angeles Chargers, Derwin James, S – The addition of James makes this secondary downright scary. They have bigger problems, but they chose the best overall player over the best team value. Grade: B
  18. Green Bay Packers, Jaire Alexander, CB – Alexander already has skills. He’ll either become a great NFL corner or a solid starter, time will tell. Grade: B
  19. Dallas Cowboys, Leighton Vander Esch, LB – First off, the majority of his highlights are from his high school career. That means you suck. A bigger version of Paul Warrilow, he’ll be out of the league in a few years. Mark my words. Grade: F

  20. Detroit Lions, Frank Ragnow, C – If you are tested in battle and win against the best DTs in the SEC, you are NFL ready. Will be a long time starter whose blocking skills might just make Stafford better. Grade: A+
  21. Cincinnati Bengals, Billy Price, C – This pick could have happened in the next round, but we all know that Marvin Lewis is an incompetent leader who enjoys leading his men to slaughter. Grade: F-
  22. Tennessee Titans, Rashaan Evans, LB – How did the Cowboys pass up the best LB in the draft and not select Evans? Probably because Jerry Jones is racist. Great pick Mike Vrabel! Grade: A

  23. New England Patriots, Isaiah Wynn, T – Mr. Belichek continues his draft dominance by taking a guy to help keep Greatness standing upright. Grade: A+
  24. Carolina Panthers, DJ Moore, WR – This was the first receiver off the board in the draft, and all I can ask is…Really? He falters against top competition, which is what the NFL is made of. Another major bust. Mark my words! Grade: D
  25. Baltimore Ravens, Hayden Hurst, TE – He looks like a God-damn Viking and it’s bad ass! If he doesn’t become a dominant player, I’ll be thoroughly disappointed. Grade: A
  26. Atlanta Falcons, Calvin Ridley, WR – A great addition to the receiving corps, but a running back out of UGA made more sense with Coleman leaving the team. As Julio has proven, it doesn’t matter how good Calvin Ridley is. Because Matt Ryan. Grade: B+
  27. Seattle Seahawks, Rashaad Penny, RB – The Seahawks traded back before saying “Hey guys, should we just waste our pick?” and then decided yes. Grade: F
  28. Pittsburgh Steelers, Terrell Edmunds, S – The older Edmunds brother also comes off the board in round one. I remember this kid at the pee wee level. He had more time to develop, and will be the better of the brothers early on. Grade: B+
  29. Jacksonville Jaguars, Taven Bryan, DT – Take an in-state guy for publicity to bolster an already elite level defense. Don’t try to help out the worst QB in the NFL on the other side of the ball or anything. Grade: C
  30. Minnesota Vikings, Mike Hughes, CB – Another great defense picks up someone they don’t need. Couldn’t control his temper, became a dumbass, and had to play for multiple colleges. Grade: D+
  31. New England Patriots, Sony Michel, RB – As good as he is, don’t draft him in fantasy football. Great pick by Belichek, but terrible for Michel’s career. Grade: A+
  32. Baltimore Ravens, Lamar Jackson, QB – This is how I know the NFL has influence on who is taken in the draft. He was the only kid left in the draft room, and he wouldn’t have been picked by the Eagles so they sent him to the Ravens. Grade: F

There it is, the 2018 NFL First Round Draft Grades.

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