North Korean budget increases Pillsbury allocation
North Korea released its budget for 2018, and one item stands out. A massive increase of the infamous ‘Pillsbury Allocation’. The Pillsbury Allocation is to North Korea what the defense budget is to America. Government officials remain tight lipped regarding specifics, and the only other budget change was a decrease to the public food fund.
“We must eat! We must eat!” is an example of something North Korean protesters might chant, if there were such a thing. But the people have an unshakable faith in the North Korean Long Cock Kim Jong Un, and wouldn’t disrupt him with petty grievances such as starvation.
To maintain peak physical and mental readiness, Long Cock Un is known to consume biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and crescent rolls at an almost non stop basis. The quantities are considered above top secret, but this allocation gives us insight into the general feeling behind the scenes. If the holy girth-lord needs that much nourishment, imagine how hard he must be working. How proud he must be, knowing his starving army stands firm behind his sacrifice.