New Politics 

SOCIAL JUSTICE FOR DUMMIES

SOCIAL JUSTICE FOR DUMMIES

Social justice is a trend, and all the cool kids are doing it. So learn the lingo, become outraged, and join the club! Remember, you are oppressed by a patriarchal society and it’s your job to bitch and complain until you get your way. Don’t you want to be a warrior?

This is social justice for dummies.

Social justice has a hierarchy, here’s how to know where you stand. Take this simple questionnaire, add up your points, and find out who you are as an individual.

White male (-3 points for privilege)

White female (-2 points for privilege)

Not white (+2 oppression points)

Straight (-1 point for privilege)

Gay (+1 opression point)

Trans (+2 oppression points)

Democrat (+1 oppression point)

Republican (-1 point for privilege)

Cis Gender (-1 point for privilege)

You require use of gender neutral pronouns (+2 oppression points)

Liberal Arts Degree (+3 oppression points)

Pro choice (+1 oppression points for women, 0 for men)

Pro life (-1 point for privilege)

Trump supporter (Racist)

Socialist (+1 oppression point)

Capitalist (-1 point for privilege)

Unemployed (+1 oppression point)

Negative points = Privileged oppressor. Social justice status denied.

0-5 points = Social justice warrior status granted.

6+ points = Oppressed. Social justice warrior status granted.

 

As long as you lack the privilege to score negative points, you are in the club. Keep in mind that your opinion has more value than anyone who has a lower score than you, and you must yield to anyone with a higher oppression score. Also, anyone who scores negative on this simple questionnaire is a confirmed racist, with possible ties to the Nazi party. Their opinions and viewpoints are only worth as much as their score, which is less than zero. Feel free to insult them, scream over them, and devalue their humanity. After all, they’re oppressors who should check their privilege and shut the fuck up.

Your identity matters. The groups you belong to define you. This country has a history of systematic racism and oppression, and the social justice army is here to put an end to it. Make no mistake, this is a declaration of war.

 

Terminology

Words matter, and language shapes everything in society. It creates and maintains power dynamics that influence every detail of our lives. Here is a list of words that anyone standing in support of social justice should know.

Micro Aggression

Oppression can be subtle, and we must remain vigilant in its face. It’s better to call someone out on a perceived slight than to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you feel even a tiny bit offended at anytime, it is because an oppressor has micro aggressed against you.

Grievance Studies 

The best way to beat our current enslavement is by educating ourselves about systems of power. We suggest that aspiring SJWs attend liberal colleges in order to study grievance. Gender studies, women’s studies, pretty much anything at a liberal arts college will do. These time tested curriculums will arm you with all the knowledge you need to take down the patriarchy.

The Patriarchy

A male dominated society where women and other historically marginalized groups are largely excluded from positions of power. Example, The United States of America.

Gender Neutral Pronouns

Instead of presumptively referring to an individual as a him or her, which are terms of oppression used by oppressors to hold down the disenfranchised, we suggest you study the list of gender neutral pronouns and find which one resonates with you. Think of it as taking back your sovereignty as an individual. Should you be lumped in and forced to share pronouns with everyone else? Of course not, you’re too brave, beautiful, and unique for that! And don’t worry, there are tens of thousands of gender neutral pronouns and more are created each and every day. Think of your pronoun as your social justice name. My pronoun happens to be Laser Wolf. And no, you can’t use that one.

Intersectionality 

Each of us belongs to many groups, and those groups entirely determine who we are. Adding them together literally equals your identity after all! But here’s the thing, there is a lot of overlap. This overlap creates new categories of discrimination or disadvantage for you to identify with.

Battle Strategies

Virtue Signalling

Whenever you sense so much as a hint of a possible micro aggression, sound the horn of Odin so your fellow warriors can follow the smoke to the fire. Not only does this allow us to gang up on problematic individuals, you may also be eligible to receive oppression points for signalling your virtue.

Mass reporting 

Remember, as an oppressed person, you are the victim. No one else. So instead of fighting against perpetrators of oppression, gang up on them. If you see problematic content on Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or anywhere else for that matter, virtue signal as hard as you can and the SJW Army will be at your side to help you mass report the content. Tech companies are our allies, and will demonetize or deplatform the offending individual. This is an important part of our overall strategy, as censorship is our way of weaponizing political correctness.

Chants

If a problematic individual has an audience, drone him out. Silence hatred. It’s our job to start monotone chants that disrupts the speaker’s ability to utilize his platform. If we don’t wanna hear it, no one needs to hear it.

Libel

Censor hatred with hatred. There’s very little chance of being held responsible for libel if you show up in a group and hand out pamphlets. Said pamphlets should be chocked full of allegations, say whatever is necessary to stigmatize problematic individuals.

Remember, you are the victim of systematic oppression and nothing is equal. Success is a myth that can be traced directly back to privilege, and your lack of success is not a lack of talent of work ethic. It’s simply the predictable result of lacking privilege. It’s physically impossible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, yet perfectly feasible to drag someone down by theirs.

We want you, for the social justice army! 

Social Justice for dummies

Live it Badass

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