The guardians of social justice are taking down the patriarchy one perceived slight at a time. Wielding a magnifying glass for micro aggression, they’ve discovered another injustice at which to point their seething anger. If there’s one thing SJW’s won’t stand for, it’s intolerance.
Since the beginning of human history, a worldwide trend of hatred and divisiveness has hidden itself in plain sight, acting as a boot on the neck of a truly innocent victim. Ladies, gentlemen, non binaries, the time has come to put a stop to the madness. It’s time to end lactose intolerance!
The question is simple, what did lactose ever do to you? In the United States alone, there are over 3 million reported cases of lactose intolerance each and every year. People who identify as lactose intolerant tend to isolate themselves from lactose entirely, and go as far as using ‘lactose free’ products. Because of their disdain for lactose, these people tend to create an echo chamber that encourages groupthink, further amplifying their intolerance.
“My daddy didn’t like lactose, and neither did my daddy’s daddy.” says Cletus Brigsby, a blind author who tours the country espousing anti-lactose sentiment. “It’s inferior!” this type of ideology is common in the lactose intolerant community, and is the very thing social justice warriors want to put a stop to.
“Look, we understand that a lot of people grew up lactose intolerant, but it’s an outdated mode of thinking. We as a society have to change those beliefs. We need to evolve, and show people that lactose is just a disaccharide.” says Michael Simpson, a spokesperson for MALI (Millennials Against Lactose Intolerance).
“Never.” says Brigsby, when asked if there is any chance he’d ever change his mind. “Lactose literally makes my stomach turn.” you can see the anger in his face when he mentions the compound.
In order to bring awareness to the issue, social justice warriors across the country march through the streets with picket signs in hand. And they say they won’t stop until every man woman and child drops their prejudice against Lactose.
Is it possible to force feed lactose to the lactose intolerant? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain, social justice warriors are going to try.