Spiritual Guru discovers the 8th Chakra
Chakras are energetic centers of power in the human body, and the mainstream spiritual community typically teaches about the 7 main chakras. They are as follows; Root chakra, sacral chakra, solar plexus chakra, heart chakra, throat chakra, third eye chakra, and the crown chakra. Some traditions claim there are over 100 chakras, but none have defined what is perhaps the most powerful of them all.
“No one talks about the 8th chakra. The fart chakra.” says Girth E.P. Ness, a renegade artist and spiritual guru who considers it his responsibility to deliver this ground breaking discovery to the masses. “There’s no other way to release toxins from the other chakras, and overlooking the care of the 8th chakra is a massive mistake. I call it the master chakra, because it regulates all of the others. Officially, I refer to it as the fart chakra because it is the cure to spiritual constipation.”
The 8th chakra, or fart chakra, physically moves up and down the entire chain of chakras removing impurities. Gathering up all of the negative energy build up makes it brown in color, and it physically leaves the body in order to release it. This phenomenon is known as a fart, and is considered “gross” by many who encounter it. Yet, the truth of the matter is farts are actually a spiritual release of negativity.
“When the 8th chakra completes its journey, it exits through the anus to release the waste collected from the other chakras.” Says Ness. The release itself can be palpable, depending on the negative energies its host has accrued since the last time their 8th chakra pushed itself out. When the fart chakra releases, it is often accompanied by a squeak or low bass sound. If the 8th chakra collects too much negative energy during its cleanse, it can also carry a wet discharge.
Spontaneous laughter is a natural reaction to the experience of such an excretion, as the human being is cleared of negativity. Joy is the only thing that remains in a being who has cleared himself of toxicity, an energy sometimes sorely lacking in the collective.
Ness warns against resisting the 8th chakra, or attempting to “hold it in”. The fart chakra can only realize its full potential when it forcefully exits the body. So the next time you are sitting in meditation, or practicing mindfulness in an elevator full of strangers, let your 8th chakra rip. You’ll be glad you did.