Street Fight Life Hack That Will Set You Free
Everyone loves street fights. Random outbursts of our long forgotten primal nature. Finding pleasure in the violence of strangers is instinct, even children reflexively circle up around combatants. There is, however, an aspect of spectating a scrap that goes largely unnoticed. This fight club secret could change your life, and set you free. It allows for a release that transcends meditation, fighting, sex, even death. Imagine extracting one hundred times more enjoyment from a good knock.
Is the secret watching the fight on heroin? No, but it’s every bit as exhilarating. Here it is; When two people are engaged in battle, the expectation of socially acceptable behavior is temporarily shut down. Individual members of the crowd are unaware of the secret, relegating them to stand around and watch. If only they knew.
Non sanctioned fighting is a complete breakdown of the social agreement.
Whilst a fight is underway, one can literally say or do anything they desire, so long as the fight continues. Witnessing such chaos creates tunnel vision, a trance like state that leaves onlookers entirely unaware of what is going on around them. This is often accompanied by an amnesiac bubble surrounding the event, blocking the memory from accessibility.
Armed with this discovery, I spread rumors at work and engineered a parking lot fight to test it out. I refer to this day as my awakening, or Nirvana Day.
My co-workers started their duel, and I stripped completely nude. After a brief moment of hesitation, I broke into rhythmic jack rabbit hopping combined with the helicopter move. While performing this action, I called out at the top of my lungs, eighty five separate times, “Worldstar!”. To my utter disbelief, the behavior was completely unnoticed. Upon realization of my invisible status, I blacked out in a state of mania.
When I woke, the fight was ending and I was smoking a cigarette out of my butthole. The fixation of the crowd lessened, and I regained my wits. By the time the fight had finished, I was fully clothed. The rest of the day went off without a hitch, and my coworkers were none the wiser.
Be warned, this information is extremely powerful and potentially addicting. The level of freedom experienced hopping around on a pogostick dildo while shooting random cars with a slingshot is unrivaled, and cannot be replicated without a spectacle of fisticuffs. With great power comes great responsibility. Do what you want with it, but use this street fight life hack wisely.