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THE MILLENNIAL AND POVERTY, A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

The Millennial and Poverty, A Match Made in Heaven

God never gives a man more than he can handle, which is why over ninety percent of Millennials live in a state of extreme poverty. It’s a blessing from above, as it would be a short race to the grave for the Millennial who encountered financial success. Access to unlimited drugs, booze, and firearms is a disaster for those lacking impulse control. The staggering price of a millennial marijuana habit and the basic level of fortitude required to work a real job keep them shackled for their own good.

Millennials adapt for survival using techniques like packing ten roommates into a one bedroom apartment. Their ingenuity might be useful if channeled in a positive direction. Adopting minimalism out of necessity, and constructing tiny homes from garbage to avoid homelessness made them the cockroach of the human species. They survive anywhere, on any diet, and for extended periods of time.

They appear harmless, but simply being physically soft and mentally weak doesn’t negate all danger. They’re symbiotic leeches, attaching to a host that they can suck dry before moving onto the next unsuspecting victim.

I said all of that to say this; feel no compassion for the broken and beaten twenty eight year old begging for money on the street corner. Instead, thank God for extending his infinite wisdom and grace. Because if it weren’t for poverty, the millennial would surely self destruct, perishing forever without anything to show for his time here.

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