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THERE AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS A FREE PIZZA

THERE AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS A FREE PIZZA

“There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” it’s true, but America makes it possible to earn cumulative spending points that add up to free food. And if there’s one thing everybody loves, it’s that. This system is employed by national chain pizza joints, and this piece is to compare the two most prominent.

The Pizza Hut “free medium pizza” system Vs. The Domino’s “free medium pizza” system

Domino’s jumps off to a quick lead because their website utilizes red white and blue. If you’re going to sell something as nutritionally vacuous as pizza you might as well rock the colors that don’t run.

Pizza Hut takes another foul turn when they tell me their large pizza is “8 slices”, while Domino’s lists theirs as “14”. Fourteen inches is tangible, I can actually use that. That’s how big the pizza is. All pizza, no matter what size, is served as 8 slices. This is the equivalent to responding to the question “how big is your penis?” with “It’s one shaft, a head, and two balls.” of course that’s what you’re serving up, that’s assumed. The question is how big is it? I find Pizza Hut’s lack of transparency disconcerting.

Onto the points system. The people need to know, which is the superior way of obtaining the ever elusive free pizza? Let’s have a look at the rule structure for each system. At Domino’s, you receive 10 points for every order of $10 or more. At Pizza Hut, you get 2 points for every one dollar spent. At Domino’s, you get a free pizza every 60 points, while at Pizza Hut you get a free pizza for every 200 points. This means that you must spend $100.00 at the Hut for your prize. Not a bad price for a free pizza. At Domino’s, you could theoretically get away with a pie after spending only $60.

So Domino’s offers the better deal. Or does it? Let’s take a closer look. A $10 order at Domino’s is unrealistic considering that a medium pizza costs $12.99. So $60 becomes $80 real quick, and that’s not including the delivery fee. Let’s assume a $25 dollar average per order, so something like a large pizza, breadsticks, and a 2 liter. 60 points at Domino’s will run you $150. Pizza Hut’s free pizza costs $100 no matter what. So the contest could go either way, depending on your style.

Just to make sure this is clear. The cost of a free medium pizza from Pizza Hut is $100, the cost of a free medium pizza at Domino’s ranges from $60 to 150. All for the sweet taste of a free meal.

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