TIME FOR A NEW LOTTERY SYSTEM
The lottery is a good idea lacking vision. There should be no lottery tickets sold at convenient liquor stores, as we are in desperate eed of a new lottery system.
Instead of using random luck, we should build giant ladders in every city and state in America. I’m talking huge, build em up to toward the sky three thousand or so feet, then attach it to a multi-directional rotational device that not only suspends the entire ladder, but moves it up and down, adjusts the angle of the tilt, and can even spin it 360 degrees in any direction.
Instead of tickets that give personal human will a zero stake in the outcome, you pay a couple bucks for your shot at the ladder. The new lottery system.
Now when I say the ladders are huge, I need you to understand what I mean. Three thousand feet tall, and 3,000 feet wide. And everyone goes at once, like a marathon. People who buy in get to start the drawing anywhere on the first 50 or so rungs. Once in place, the ladder is suspended, and the climb begins. You see, not only is this the perfect alternative to the current lottery system, it is also a metaphor for the battle to achieve success.
First, let us zoom into the current system and admire it’s stupidity at a micro level. Why is it that a 94 year old, comfortably retired woman is eligible to win 254 million dollars? There is no justifiable explanation, as that level of money is for Spartans. Those willing to use the money proper; to plunder, grind, and steal their way to further levels of power. The current system doesn’t capitalize on the entertainment spectacle angle the way it easily could. Look at what American citizens will do for say, $50,000. They’ll eat spiders, lay in a bed with snakes, or chow down on an exotic animals dong meat. All in the name of surpassing the actual hard work required to become successful.
When you allow any random person a shot at winning the lottery with no skin involved outside of the three dollars they’d have otherwise spent on Ding Dongs and Cream Pies, it kills the spirit of it all. Think about it. Who, ideally, would you want to win the lottery? If it isn’t you or anyone you know, you’d want the money going to someone who would at least try to do something great with it. Otherwise, what is the point of the lottery a social level?
Instead of saying, “Yeah good for him, but he blew it all on strippers and cocaine and is now back working at the plant.” and justifying it with his statement that it was the best three years of his life, let’s do better.
He paid three dollars to the clerk, won 40 million, and had fun until it ran out. That’s what the current system promotes. Even though you can’t fault the guy, from the outside looking in you can see that it’s a waste. You always blow money you didn’t earn. This is where the new lottery system comes in to take care of the problem.
Competitors take their starting place on the ladder, the gun goes off, and the race begins. You see, it’s a race to the top. As everyone begins to climb, some people never have a chance. People are grabbing other people, falling off everywhere down onto the protective padding beneath them. Left and right, people are dropping like flies, yet some manage to hang on. Not only hang on, but the shit they saw on the way up starts getting to them. People throwing dick punches, grab assing, kicking people in the face. It’s brutal. That’s why it’s a metaphor. This isn’t the old lottery, the soft weak ass random drawing lottery.
“Just sit on your fat loser ass and don’t do shit, might just earn yourself a fortune.” No. That’s not real life at all. It’s brutal, and so is the ladder. The ladder will separate the men from boys, the women from girls, and non binaries from weaker non binaries. At this point, you’ve made it to what is metaphorically, “the middle class”. You’re a bit hardened, but still a good sport about the ladder. It’s worked out so far, and you still have a lot of potential for upward mobility. So you continue your climb, but the others are more competitive at this level. They’ve seen what can happen already.
Now at this point in the race, the ladder is going to start tilting, turning, and spinning. And this change alone will knock a lot of people who were doing just fine off of the ladder and down onto the pad. This is a metaphor for politics in the workplace, as well as a constantly changing market landscape.
Yet the race continues, and a few begin to pull ahead of the others. The middle class sabotages themselves like lobsters in a boiling pot, until only the elites remain. But there can only be one. So the speed of the ladder’s movement increases, spinning faster and faster as the remaining contestants dwindle. Until finally, one remains.
That guy. Whoever the fuck is still hanging on after all that, is the person who deserves to be a lottery winner. Not only was he thrown into the arena and tested, he was the lone survivor. It’s a somewhat traumatic experience, but a true accomplishment. The winner has proven his fortitude and shown himself capable of handling the booty.
Will this person be as likely to blow the money as the impulsive demographic that buys lottery tickets? Or die a week later like the elderly with the same fortune? No. Fuck no. They have seen some shit, and their wealth was earned in the Colosseum.
The new lottery system
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